Arresting Development

A few weeks ago I was walking around campus and saw a poster with Jeffery Tambor (aka: George Bluth Sr.) and promptly geeked out inside. 

I've been a fan of Arrested Development for a while. I've been into this show ever since it was on T.V. back in the day.

I had to go in late to his presentation because of class, but I got the majority of it. For me this presentation was perfect timing. 

There's something about listening to people who have struggled with creative passion and who have fought against convention to live their dreams. He inspired me. 

I've had my plans for my album Oaks & Ashes and have been working on it for a while. I started to feel stuck in the mud in my endeavors, though. But after hearing him speak a new energy entered my soul. It had to do with the answer to a question I asked him. 

I asked him, essentially, if the demons we all acquire in our lives ever go away. If the doubt, fear that comes from hurtful experiences fade out from our minds.

He said 'No.'

Quickly, firmly, directly. He looked right at me and said it. 

'No.'

For some reason that didn't scare me. It invigorated me. It took me away from fear. 

Let me explain why. 

It took away my excuse. 

It took away the power of those thoughts. 

They're always going to be there- so screw them! I'm gonna do what I want anyway! I'm done wasting my energy on eliminating the thing that won't be eliminated.

I think apart of me thought that I'd never be ready for my dreams if my demons stuck around. Apart of me always thought that I couldn't move forward until I never doubted myself- until I became the picture of perfect confidence. 

But those experiences, those 'demons' - they shaped me. Those experiences in my youth that tore me down created melodies and words that strike, move and form something beautiful.

So screw my seemingly unmovable feet. 

Screw trying to please everyone. 

My dreams are for my hands and I'll be damned if I watch them float away while under the illusion that I need permission from those around me to take it.

That will never happen.

So I'm doing my Kickstarter. I'm making my album. 

I'm tremendously excited and grateful for the people who have donated and will donate. 

They are a part of my dream now and I'm excited for them and for me. 

I am also extremely grateful for Jeffery Tambor. 

His words helped change my world. 

And my world is going to be incredible.